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June 21, 2010

Do you believe in miracles?!?

YES!!!

Although I'm sure it comes as no surprise to anyone--since, if you read this blog, you probably know me--it gives me great pleasure to announce that G-Pa is officially off the market. For good.

I proposed to a certain lovely young lady (LYL) recently, and, oddly enough, she said yes.

I know. I almost couldn't believe it, either.

But she did. And it's AWESOME!! Enough to make a man who loathes ALL CAPS and juvenile conventions such as smileys (:D) and excessive punctuation. I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!!!

God has blessed me incredibly. I don't know how to really explain it. I give him thanks for answered prayers and unanswered ones alike. This really was a perfect plan.


And though I'm still orbiting cloud 9, it has come to my attention that one aspect of getting married is that you have to actually have to put some effort into planning a wedding. Fortunately, this year has been chock full of weddings amongst friends, so LYL and I have gotten a lot of ideas as to what to include. So far, she's only vetoed a few of my music choices. But then, the Imperial March loses its effect unless it's performed by a full orchestra, anyway--which she's been very clear I'd have to spring for. Not happening.

But really, what can't you do?

We recently saw a beach wedding that used unity sand (the wind would have doused candles for sure). They each poured a flask of differently-coloured sand into a glass bowl, then shook it up, symbolizing their union. I suggested we put our own spin on it. Unity roman candle? Pshaw. We'll have unity molasses. And we wouldn't have little flasks of molasses, no. We'll each pour from one of those gargantuan pint mason jars into a basin the size of a water cooler. I figure we'll need about eight songs to play through just for that part of the ceremony, alone. That, or the longest rendition of "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring" in human history. Everyone will just love it.

Then, in lieu of vows, we'll each recite the entire book of Song of Songs to the other, followed by a responsive reading from the congregation. I've asked the minister to give the "Twue Wove" speech from Princess Bride to kick things off, followed by a 45-minute sermon on the history of the ring. Since we're getting married near Christmas, I figure it also would behoove us to have a segment in the middle of the ceremony where the local youth group performs "Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!" in its entirety.

Basically we're looking at a seven hour production, start to finish. But fret not, potential wedding attendees, there's an intermission between the second and third acts.

I figure, one of two things can happen: Either two-thirds of those who show up will slip out before it's over, saving us a bundle on food costs at the reception, or else she'll read this and assume that all my crazy suggestions are mere nonsense, and that I would never, ever try to sneak any low-brow humor into such a sacred event. But really, I'm game for whatever it is that she wants. Because no matter what else ends up happening leading up to the moment, once the doors open at the back of the church, and I see her come through the door, I'll think to myself, "This is perfect."

And it will be.

But if she later comes around asking whose idea it was to play "Yakety Sax" for our recessional instead of what she picked, you don't know nothin.

;]

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

With this plan, how can we fail?

Dorothy said...

i love this!!! LYL. clas-sick

Katie Ellen said...

I just read this and laughed until I cried... Ben, you are too much. All I could think of, during the entire description of your 7-hour wedding was, "Gosh, I hope they'll at least have concession stands". Please take that into serious consideration :)

Oh, and I WILL be available to play the part of Lucy :)

Anonymous said...

Ahhh, you make me LAUGH...and I love you :)